What a load of…
Yes, I previously said I’m not in the habit of sharing people’s fantasies. Then I got this email yesterday, and it made me seriously question whether or not Sebastian Faulks’ Birdsong has any erotic value AT ALL.
I am desperately seeking a girl who can poo in my mouth. I like to lick and eat girls poo. I can do this every day and I did, but in my country.At the moment I am in London and 26 without scat girl friend 😦 can you help me? I am good looking guy from Slovakia and I really need girls poo. But unfortunately I cannot pay for this.
Please help and thanks in advance!
Doesn’t the Rough Guide have a chapter on this? If they don’t, they’re missing a trick. What could be worse than being stranded in a foreign country without a scat girl friend? Oh. That’s right: being stranded in a foreign country and facing the possibility that you might have to pay for da poop. I can see where the panic is setting in.
I wanted to help, really, I did*. But – aside from the fact that I’ve never offered scat as a service – it would just be impossible. So I replied:
Thank you for your enquiry.
Unfortunately this is not a bodily function I experience, due to my gender.
My waste products are processed into glucose at source and then spun at a high temperature, and I am unable to simply give this substance away when people pay a reasonable price for it.
*May, in fact, be a lie.