Or; why I don’t offer same-day sessions.
Look, I get it. I know it’s exciting and nerve-wracking, and that sometimes you suspect that if you don’t just get it done then and there, you’ll never do it.
Am I talking about tattoos? Actually no, but there’s certainly an analogy in there. I’m sure plenty of places like tattoo and piercing parlours have a similar level of “Hi can you see me today?” requests.
You might think that it’s “worth a shot” or “can’t hurt to ask”, but actually as a first timer sending me a line like the above just indicates to me that you haven’t thought this through at all, and, more importantly, you don’t care that:
a) it’s an experience with me, as you couldn’t care less who is smacking/shouting at you, you just want it from anybody and,
b) that perhaps, just perhaps, I want to actually enjoy said experience too.
The guys who write 1-2 line emails like the above are not going to lead to sessions I’m interested in. I have no desire to be the “you’ll do” for your impulse wank fantasy, and if you can’t even be bothered to write a paragraph about what sort of session it is that you are even interested in, you certainly do not deserve the level of detail, planning and energy I put in to my scenes.
I state on my website that I usually require 3-4 days’ notice for bookings. This is an estimation, and sometimes that notice can be stretched to as little as 24 hours. Same day? No.
Well for starters because that is how I do things. Which should be the end of that explanation, but things on the internet often need spelling out a little more. So…
) I don’t live in a venue. Nor do I work from home. The various places I do offer sessions from are all studios, rooms or dungeons that I pay to hire, chosen for their suitability to each enquiry. They also all have their own calendars to juggle, meaning that not only is it harder to shoehorn additional bookings in with no notice, but it’s also a bit disrespectful to the owners of the venues. You give me notice, which gives them notice. Everyone’s feeling more relaxed.
2) I have a full and busy life outside of creating and running scenes and parties. Which means I don’t just sit around in a venue all day waiting for the phone to go. That would also be creepy due to point 1).
3) I need to plan. Just because you’ve said that it’s going to be a “standard school-theme session/usual headmistress stuff” doesn’t mean that I’m going to just autopilot from cold. Even the sessions in which I’m requested to be dressed casually (not yet had one asking for me in sweatpants or a onesie, mind…) and be super informal are still thought through. I need to know someone’s previous experiences/current expectations, and be in the most receptive headspace to read the reactions and body language of whoever I’m playing with so that I can deliver the optimal experience that I am known for. So much of what I do that is devastating to you is non-physical, and without sounding like a total wanker, it’s actually quite full-on both emotionally and physically for me. I’ll usually be pretty damn tired after a few hours of play, no matter how exhilarating it was. It’s not a bad thing, obviously, but it’s something I’d love more people to bear in mind.
4) Anticipation is a cruel and wonderful thing. I love knowing that the person I’m going to be playing with is having to have at least one night’s sleep with the tingling, inexorable awareness in the back of their mind that an intense, and possibly terrifying, experience is going to happen. Even if someone doesn’t directly dream about the upcoming session, the trepidation starts a chemical reaction in the body that just isn’t there for something last minute. Too subtle for some, maybe, but the devil is in the detail, as they say.
5) This list shouldn’t need to be this long, so just respect my time and energy, and reap the eventual endorphin reward, smug in the knowledge that I had a fun/satisfying time too.
Obviously by “avenue” I mean THAT avenue. Yes, behind you. Now bend over.
Regular Twitter readers will know that I’ve been doing a lot more Electric Play recently, and am really loving it. Per this short video clip of me laughing heartily at a man I’m electrocuting.
Electrics does seem to be one of those play areas that people often avoid or back off from trying. I’d suspect it’s got much to do with the fact that you are dealing with an invisible force, and one that you’ve grown up learning to revere and fear. Then factor in the whole filmic stereotype of “Car Battery Interrogation Torture” and you’ve got yourself something that is already sounding quite dangerous.
Then, of course, there’s the fact that it’s really not advisable to attempt it as a DIY Kink project. I do not want to see some tabloid report about firemen having to rescue a naked dude covered in butter, sticking a sword in the toaster.
I have to admit, even as someone who’s been in the lifestyle and professional scene for almost 15 years, I took years to even contemplate trying out Electrics as a device for play. Granted, much of that reticence was more that the first 8 years at least I was almost solely a Disciplinarian and CP Specialist, and with most of my play scenes and sessions then having a domestic setting, things like electrics never really entered in to it.)
There was also the issue that I’d never tried it myself.
I feel it’s really important for a top to know what the thing they’re doing to a person feels like, or at least can have an approximation of what it feels like if they’re lacking the exact same body parts that are having said experience.
Obviously I am acutely aware of how all spanking implements feel, how bondage feels, how interrogation feels, how pegs and pinwheels and everything else feel – because I used to play a great deal with them back in the dark mists of time when I switched. But I’d never tried electrics, and once I stopped switching, it seemed even less likely.
Then, a few years ago, I got my own Electrastim set. And, one morning in my lounge, I sat down in my knickers and wired myself up in varying ways.
Mr Hunter walked in to find me running an electric pinwheel down my thigh and hissing “Ah, you little bastard!” as I turned the dial up. He didn’t stay in the room much longer…
What does it feel like? Well that’s a fun exercise in descriptions! Considering it’s something you can’t see …(unless it’s a Violet Wand, in which case it’s awfully pretty..)
I’d say it’s a broadly penetrative sensation. Depending on the charge going through and what attachments you’re using it can vary from tingly, to vibrating, to a deep, incontrollable squeeze feeling. The Violet wand is more of a tickle through to a strong flick.
With the pinwheel attachment on the E-stim, it’s almost like a slicing feeling – like a scalpel cut – which makes it amazing for intense sessions where someone wants to genuinely feel like they’ve been cut open or castrated/circumcised. Add some appropriate props and a blindfold and you have all the makings of a terrifying, mind-bending scene. Much recommended from my perspective!
With the sticky pads attached to both ends, you can run the current between them with some wicked effects – isolate a muscle, or, my personal favourite, apply a pad each side of the groin, meaning that the current flows across the genital area – it’s an incredible way to give the feeling of invasion or being overwhelmed by an invisible force, and is especially effective when the subject is restrained and blindfolded, as the mind runs away with the possibilities of what on earth the unusual sensation is. You can even make it seem like there’s more than one person touching the victim with pads. Great for a proper and thorough head-fuck!
There’s really not enough room to write about what all the different attachments feel like, but the very best thing about Electric Play, in my opinion, is that for the same level of pain you’d get with physical contact such as spanking or knife play, you come away with no marking. Perfect for many types of player, especially the ones who need to keep things secret. Plus there’s no downtime between sessions; you can ramp it straight back up again. And the sheer versatility is amazing. I’m really hoping to get a few more attachments to add to my collection.
Come and try an introductory session with me and discover Electricity for yourself. I promise not to reenact Back To The Future whilst I have your genitals hooked up. (Unless you ask me to, and then I will make it weird and probably call you Marty, and shout random film quotes at you whilst playing the soundtrack. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
If you want to try it for yourself, I hugely recommend Electrastim – I don’t have that exact model, but it’s very similar, and comes with all you need. If you already have one of the boxes and want to try the pinwheel out, you can either use a uni polar pinwheel with the second connection attached to one of these pads (which are massively useful in general for e-stim play. You’ll get through them.) or you can get the bi-polar pinwheel that takes both plugs.
I sometimes use conductive gel for things like the pinwheels – to be honest I’ve made my own before as well, which works just as well, but if you like your kink to be super swish then it’s definitely worth getting some.
As a standard online cautionary note, I have to point out that Electric Play should be avoided if you have Epilepsy or a Pacemaker, and that you should generally keep its use to below the waist, especially when you’re starting out.
Bi-Polar items/Violet Wands are generally ok to take all over the body, but uni polar can quite easily be accidentally taken across the heart due to the electricity taking the shortest path between the two points – so if you were holding the conductive end of the pinwheel and picked up the pad or ring you’d attached the other plug to, you can see how it might end up taking that route up the arms and straight across the torso. Get into the habit of switching the box off before you replace a pad or fixed point. Or get some professional guidance!